2021 Mood + Goals

Last year was strange, boring, scary and in some ways affirming. I had hoped 2020 would be a big year for me, new year new decade and all. However, that was obviously not the case. But like in any bad situations there are lessons to be learned. So maybe 2020 can be the year I learnt and 2021 can be the year I live according to what I have learnt.

My 2021 Mood

I will listen to music that brings me joy, watch movies that inspire me. Look after my mental health and talk to someone if I feel myself slipping again. I will make art, if that’s writing a short story, painting my feelings on a canvas, recording a short film, I will just go with the flow. I won’t lose hope. I will work towards a career I’m passionate about. I will in the words of Jack Kerouac in On the Road “burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars”, because why settle for anything less?

My 2021 Goals

• Achieve fluency in French - Recently I’ve avoided learning French as I kind of plateaued and I was just finding it so frustrating. But rather than just give up I’m going to work harder. This will be the year that I become fluent, no excuses.

• Double my blog traffic - 2020 has been a great year for my blog and I can’t wait to take it even further.

• Read 52 books - One book a week is a manageable goal (I think?)

• Be more sustainable

• Declutter - Get rid of physical and mental clutter.

• Be creative

My favourite Christmas movies (And a TV show for added festive fun)

Everyone loves Christmas movies; they are the perfect antidote to the cold dark days of Winter, and more so than ever this year they are great for lifting the mood.

In my Festive Favourites of Film & TV, I will also be answering some heavy-hitting questions such as is Love Actually actually good? Is Kubrick’s Eyes Wide Shut a Christmas film? And, of course, the much-debated Nightmare Before Christmas conundrum, is it a Halloween film or a Christmas movie?

So without further ado, let’s say cheers to the season and have a look at my Festive Faves

Home Alone - Stream on Disney+

A classic that I have watched over and over again since I was a child. Back in the day, my sister and I would watch it on VHS tape probably every year, and we were utterly obsessed with Angels with Filthy Souls the fake black and white gangster movie that Kevin watches and would re-enact the scene over and over again (we still do sometimes). I also think the idea of being left home alone over Christmas spoke to my introverted soul, and I felt that I would totally enjoy it. But I guess every kid felt the same and as you grow up you realise half the joy of Christmas is the communal experience (RIP Christmas 2020).

The Nightmare Before Christmas - Stream on Disney+

I have so much love for this stop-motion masterpiece and while some may argue that it is a Halloween movie I most ardently think that it is a Christmas film and one of the best at that. I think it captures the wonder and awe of Christmas in a very unique and charming way. I watch The Nightmare Before Christmas every year and will probably be watching it on Christmas Eve this year or maybe tonight who knows.

The Holiday - Stream on Netflix

I am a sucker for a Rom-Com and The Holiday is my festive film of choice within that genre, I was umming and ahhing as to whether I should choose Love Actually instead, but I’m not so sure about that film anymore.

I feel like modern dissections make me realise that it’s somewhat problematic, but I still find some of it funny, like the scene with Rowan Atkinson pretentiously wrapping a gift.

But anyway, back to The Holiday, and while it’s not without its issues, I would be inclined to say that it has aged better than Love Actually. It’s light-hearted fluff, and tbh I would totally spend Christmas at Iris’s cute country cottage.

Carol - Stream on Amazon Prime

Carol is gorgeously shot, and the performances by Cate Blancett and Rooney Mara are stunning. I love the moment Carol and Therese meet at the department store.

Also, Therese reminds me of how I used to behave working in retail over Christmas, nervous and quoting product specifications because I read all the material on the items I had to sell. I also wrote a film review of Carol a few years back on my old blog that I copied over to this one (wow, 5 years, to be precise!).

Hjem til Jul (Home for Christmas) - Netflix Original TV Series

This Norwegian language TV series is a concoction of romantic comedy genre tropes in one delightfully festive package, and I can’t get enough!

Joanne is a single 30-year-old nurse who is quite ok with her relationship status until the festive season rolls around. At the first advent dinner, her family criticise her for not having a boyfriend and sit her next to her brother’s noisy twins. Hell on earth, essentially.

So in true rom-com heroine style, instead of resigning herself to a repeat come Christmas Day, Joanne announces that she has a boyfriend without thinking. Thus a mad 24-day hunt ensues as she tries to find the perfect man to bring home for Christmas.

Eyes Wide Shut - Available to rent on BFI Player & other platforms

Am I clutching at straws to include this film in a Festive Favourites list? After all what says Christmas more than a secret high society sex cult?

Well, nothing other than the fact that Eyes Wide Shut takes place over the festive season, and I love Stanley Kubrick, so you can’t stop me from including it!

While it’s not your usual Christmas movie brimming with festive cheer or romance, it’s almost like a shot of reality, or perhaps it could even be called an Anti-Christmas film.

Film Critic Lee Seigel wrote:

“There is the fantasy of absolute gratification, cynically projected from every corner of the culture, and there is the reality of the cookie and the child and the homework and the companion you have chosen, and for whom, despite everything, you sit at home waiting. Compared with the everyday reality of sex and emotion, our fantasies of gratification are, yes, pompous and solemn in the extreme. That is why the film’s recurrent motif is of the Christmas tree. For desire is like Christmas: it always promises more than it delivers.”

This analysis really hits the nail on the head. When you delve deeper into the film, its themes of sexuality, ego, desire, and sexism really are complemented by the fantastic metaphor of Christmas. And, of course, it goes without saying that all those lights make for great cinematography.

Let me know in the comments what your Favourite Festive Film and TV picks are.

Thanatophobia + The Seventh Seal

The other night I had a panic attack. Again. I laid down in bed, switched the light off and hoped my brain would follow suit. It didn’t. Instead of the usual barrage of ideas for stories or random philosophical musings that often keep me up at night, a much more sinister thought settled in my mind. Death. You see death and the process of dying (and therefore ceasing to exist) always sets me off, I just can’t get my head around it and it freaks me out so much to the point that I have full-blown panic attacks about it.

One time at the doctors when I was younger and having an injection, I fainted for the first time. It was a slow blurring of the senses and an encroaching vignette of darkness. Naturally, I thought I was dying. I was completely terrified and I can remember struggling to breathe and shouting ‘I don’t want to die’ a few times before losing consciousness. Not my finest moment. After that episode, the fear of death went away for a few years, came back and retreated again like the tide. It had been quite a while since the last panic attack about death, but I guess with the whole pandemic situation and hearing and seeing death counts every single day the anxiety around it has understandably returned.

Sometimes I ask myself how does everyone function, why is the world not in a blind panic? People running around screaming and crying because of their guaranteed oblivion. Evolution. That’s why. Religion helps too. When I was a teenager I would read the New Testament desperate to believe in God so that I wouldn’t be so scared of death, but I never could quite convince myself. I’ve also tried Zen Buddhism too, that worked much better and for quite a long time I was at peace with the transience of life. In fact, I started looking at death as the final act in a play. Your prologue takes place while you're in the womb, the first act is…well who am I kidding Shakespeare has already covered this ground and he did it far better than I ever could.

I recently watched Bergman’s The Seventh Seal to try and see another point of view on death, and perhaps because of the rather morbid connection it, a film about The Black Death has with the present pandemic. And I found it to be one of the best films I have ever seen. I mean, duh, it’s Bergman, but it really touched me in unexpected ways, and dare I say I actually felt soothed at the end when they danced over the hill with Death.

Moreover, in an earlier scene, Max von Sydow’s Knight shares strawberries and milk with two travelling actors, their young child and his squire. He tells them that he will cherish the purity of the moment as if it were a bowl of freshly milked milk. I found it to be a beautiful moment in a rather heavy film. It also made me think about how most of us spend our lives overlooking the small stuff and stressing over what has been and what will be rather than being present. Quite the Zen sentiment, and one I had forgotten to practise recently.

I dare to say this will be me when the time comes…

It is clear to me (and anyone who reads this) that my fear of death is getting in the way of me living my life. I touched on the idea of Fear, in general, having such an impact on me in the 27 Things I Have Learned in 27 Years post that I wrote recently, and I am trying to find ways to mitigate its effects on me. No easy feat really, it’s hard to unlearn habits that have driven your life for as long as you can remember.

If you're struggling with everyday things, anxiety and/or suicidal thoughts and need to talk to someone then get in contact with Samaritans (UK). They are there to help.

Winter Playlist

I literally can’t go a day without music, especially at the moment being cooped up indoors indefinitely. This playlist is full of songs that have been bringing me joy for the last couple months, from dancing in the kitchen while cooking to 2am writing sessions so I thought I would share them with you just in case they can do the same.

Christmas Gift Ideas

I am really getting in the festive mood this year, and with less than 20 days until Christmas, I thought I would share some gift ideas for anyone struggling for inspiration. One of my favourite things about Christmas is gift shopping, and while I usually would head out to a shopping centre for that one of a kind Christmas vibe, I will be doing all of my gift shopping online this year. Yes, I will miss all the beautiful displays at Liberty’s, Selfridges and Harrods, the carol singers on the streets, random acts of Christmas kindness and the struggle of shuffling in and out of your coat every time you enter or leave a store. But for me staying COVID free and spending time with my family is far more important than the annual Christmas Shop experience. So without further ado, I present 8 gift ideas to get you inspired and ready to shop!

1. Untold Day and Night by Bae Suah | 2. Kate Spade Nicola Micro Crossbody Bag | 3. Chanel N°5 Perfume | 4. Anthropologie Bistro Tiled Margot Monogram Mug | 5. Avène Refreshing Eye Contour Care Cream | 6. BY WISHTREND Green Tea and Enzyme Powder Cleanser | 7. Kate Spade Star Studs & Pendant Boxed Set | 8. Normal People by Sally Rooney

The above links are affiliate links so I do make a small commision if you make a purchase through them.

Other gift ideas:

A Mubi subscription for an Art House Cinema lover, Spotify Premium for a music nut, Wine for a budding sommelier or help save an endangered species with WWF.